Why Is My One-Year-Old So Clingy?
It is common for toddlers between 10-18 months to develop a clingy stage. But, what are the signs that there is a bigger problem developing beyond a typical phase? If you are worried about how attached your one-year-old is, there are ways to identify where the behavior might be stemming from, and if it is a problem that needs to be addressed.
Top Reasons Why Toddlers Become Clingy
Toddlers can become clingy for all different reasons. The most important thing to do is become consciously aware of it and listen and observe your child’s behavior. Here are the most common reasons why toddlers become clingy:
They want something from you.
There has been a major change in their lifestyle, day, or routine.
They are being faced with a new challenge.
They have separation anxiety.
One-year-olds are constantly facing new experiences and are beginning to enter a new stage of being consciously aware of these problems and challenges. There are different stages of clingy toddlers, some that should not be a worry and some stages that should be addressed.
They Want Something From You
The easiest way to find out why your child is being clingy is to listen to them. A one-year-old who is hungry, tired, or even bored may become clingier as their way of expressing that they need something from you.
If this is the case, the behavior will subside once they have received what they wanted. In most cases, this is common behavior that shouldn’t be a concern. However, if they are using it to become demanding, it may need to be something for you to address.
There Has Been a Major Change in Their Day
One-year-olds are constantly experiencing new changes that may be out of their comfort zone. Moving, introducing them to a new group of people, or taking them somewhere that they are not used to going to are all experiences that may result in them seeking comfort in what feels familiar. In this case, they would be taking comfort in the parent or caretaker with them.
A child become clingy in new situations is common behavior that they can grow used to the more they are exposed to it, and the more you provide them with the level of support and comfort they need to feel confident.
They Are Being Faced with a New Challenge
One of the biggest challenges facing a one-year-old is learning how to do things independently. Of course, some challenges take weeks, months, or even years to become independent in. Clingy behavior in these situations appears when the child wants comfort in normalcy or something familiar.
Encouraging their independence is always the best way to resolve clingy behavior in these situations. This also means being patient to allow them a moment to express independence before jumping in with immediate support.
They Have Separation Anxiety
Clingy behavior could be an early sign of separation anxiety. If your one-year-old is clingy when you are about to leave, has a tantrum when their caretaker leaves them, or cries and resists other caretakers, such as babysitters or nannies, this could be a sign of separation anxiety.
Before you jump to this conclusion, know that it is normal for children to exhibit this behavior when being separated from their parents at such a young age. The most notable sign that it is part of a bigger issue is if the behavior persists as the child gets older.
The best way to help separation anxiety is by helping them prepare ahead of time to be separated. Common signs that you are about to be separated can be as simple as a hug every time you leave.
How to Prevent Clinginess When It Becomes a Problem
If clinginess progresses to becoming a problem, you will need to determine the best course of action to move forward with as soon as possible. Improving a child’s mental health takes time, so be patient and consistent with the steps you take.
Identify the Problem
Make a conscious effort to be aware of the times your child is most clingy. Listen to them if they are trying to get attention for a certain reason. Take in your surroundings and see if anything new or repetitive triggered the behavior. See what actions you take help the child get through their moment of clinginess.
Know When to Comfort Them
After you have identified the problem, you will begin to understand at what moments you can help comfort them. If it is a clinginess issue stemming from their discomfort with independence, you will begin to learn when to change from encouraging independence to jumping in and helping support their independent moment as needed.
Practice Short-Term Separation
To help clingy behavior no matter what it stems from, it is best to practice short-term separation that will prepare them to learn their own independence. This can be as simple as separating for a few minutes to go outside or separating for a few hours to go to the grocery store while another caretaker watches them.
Give Them Something Comforting
Clinginess tends to occur in children seeking a sense of normalcy to comfort them in uncomfortable or new situations. If this is the case, finding something to give them to comfort them can help begin an easy transition towards separation.
Blankets, a stuffed animal, or even something that belongs to you, such as your jacket, can help them cling to an object instead of a person, beginning the process of independence while still being right there with them.
Encourage Independence
A child learning independence will feel more confident and begin to detach from clinginess when they are encouraged and supported. Find the right times to encourage their independence before jumping in to provide physical support or do tasks for them. The more challenges that they accomplish while you are right there encouraging them, the more they will gain confidence and the desire to want to do more independent tasks to make you proud.
It Takes Time to See Improvement
With any behavior, it takes time to see long-term changes. Nothing happens overnight. The biggest step to preventing your child’s clinginess is being patient with the process while still taking steps each day to push them forward.
If time has passed and you do not see improvement in your toddler’s behavior, consult with an expert to determine what else you can do to help them improve.