My 3-Year-Old Grandson is Behaving Aggressively Toward Other Children. What Can I Do?
This post is part of a series where our team of child mental health professionals answer real questions submitted by readers like you. This post deals with topics related to aggression. Please take care when reading.
We recently received a question from a grandparent wondering about their grandson’s aggressive behavior. Below is the question, and a response from one of our child mental health experts:
“My 3-year-old grandson, who I have custody of, is hitting other children and hurting them by throwing toys at their heads. He won’t follow any rules or sit still. This has been happening at daycare [for a few months]. Currently, he’s suspended from daycare and may soon be expelled. I just don’t know what to do. Can you help?”
- G., Pennsylvania
Thank you for your question. I am sorry this has been such a trying time for you, and that your grandson is at risk of being expelled. I think you are right to be concerned about his behavior.
I will assume that your grandson is talking and has some words by now. If he is not yet speaking, or has very few words, it could be that his behavior is related to the frustration he feels at not being able to express himself fully. If language does not appear to be the problem, then it seems he is engaging in more defiant behavior than his peers.
Another question I have is about his behavior outside of daycare. When he is at home with you, does he display the same intense behaviors (hit or throw objects at you)? When he is with other children outside of daycare, does he hurt them, too?
When the disruptive behavior is occurring in more settings, the more likely it is to be a problem. If it is only occurring at daycare, you may need to look at what is different about that particular setting (e.g., does he feel safe, is there a child there he doesn’t like, etc.).
Depending on the severity of the issue, you may benefit by talking with a child specialist.
Please do not hesitate to contact us at Little Otter.
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