I’m 13 and Can’t Stop Thinking about Death. Can You Help?

This post is part of a series where our team of child mental health professionals answer real questions submitted by readers like you. This post deals with worries related to death and dying. Please take care when reading.

One teenager shared that she has begun thinking about death and is feeling a little overwhelmed with fear. Here is her question, and an answer from our team of child mental health experts.

“I’m 13 years old. A few days ago, I started thinking more about death, and now I’m scared of it and worried. How can I stop that? Thanks.”

- D.

Thank you for contacting Little Otter. Thinking about death and dying can be really upsetting!

Before exploring some strategies that might be helpful, if you are thinking about suicide or hurting yourself in any way, please call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at 1-800-273-8255 or text HOME to 741741 to talk with a counselor. If you are in immediate danger, call 911.

In general, however, worrying about death is really common.

Sometimes we think about our own death, or worry that our parents, family members, or pets might die. Usually these thoughts wax and wane in frequency over time, but if you're struggling to shift your attention to other things (e.g., friends, school), here are a few strategies that might be helpful to try:

  • Talking with a trusted adult about your thoughts can be a helpful first step. Oftentimes expressing what we're feeling and thinking to others can support our brains in processing and coping with our fears.

  • Using coping thoughts to assure yourself that you are healthy and going to live a long life. For example, if a thought about death pops into your mind, you can say to yourself, "Thinking about death is totally normal, and I know that I'm healthy and going to live for a long time!"

  • Learning to distract yourself from your thoughts is a practical way to shift your attention to something else! For some people, listening to a favorite playlist can help with distraction, while others like drawing, reading books, watching videos, or texting a friend. Find what works for you!

We hope these strategies are helpful! Little Otter is also available in select states to provide additional consultation and mental health services to help support teens and their families.


Do you have a question you’d like to ask a child psychologist?

Submit your questions here. Remember, you can choose to remain anonymous if you’d prefer.

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