Mom Burnout Is Real — Here’s How to Deal With It

As a therapist who works closely with mothers, and as a mother of two, I often hear a familiar phrase: “I’m so tired, and no one sees it.” This isn’t just physical exhaustion. It’s mom burnout and it is more than just feeling tired. It's a deeper kind of exhaustion that doesn’t go away with a full night's sleep or time off.

Mom burnout is a natural response to ongoing parenting stress, constant caregiving, and the often-invisible demands of family life. It’s what happens when the mental, emotional, and physical weight you carry becomes too much to bear. And in today’s world, where social media pushes images of perfect parenting and constant positivity, that pressure can feel even heavier.

Let’s be clear: this isn’t a personal failure. It’s a completely human response to the unrealistic expectations placed on mothers. For many moms, it creeps in quietly long before they realize how much it’s affecting them.

Signs of Burnout in Moms

If you’re reading this article, chances are you suspect you might be experiencing burnout. These are common signs I look for when supporting moms struggling with their mental health:

• A level of fatigue that no nap or coffee can fix.
• Feeling easily irritated or quick to anger, especially with your kids or partner.
• A growing sense of resentment, guilt, or emotional detachment from the people you love.
• Constantly feeling overwhelmed by even small decisions or daily tasks.
• Going through the motions while feeling emotionally numb or disconnected.
• Difficulty staying present in activities with brain fog and forgetfulness.

These signs aren’t just “normal parts of motherhood,” they’re flags that you’re carrying too much. Download Little Otter’s Mom Burnout Check-in for a practical resource on identifying your burnout. 

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If any of these symptoms arise during the perinatal period (from conception to one year after birth), particularly symptoms around feeling numb or not feeling rested no matter how much sleep you are getting, you should get support as soon as possible given these are likely signs of perinatal depression.

Why So Many Moms Experience Burnout

It’s likely no surprise to you but mothers are often expected to be everything: caretaker, scheduler, emotional anchor, breadwinner, chef, and more. Many of us grew up in cultures or systems that praise self-sacrifice but rarely acknowledge the cost. Social media adds another layer, feeding into mom guilt with highlight reels of influencer moms who make it all look effortless.

Add in the fact that U.S. mothers face limited access to paid leave, mental health care, and community support, and it’s no wonder so many are struggling. You're not weak. You're reacting to a system that isn’t designed to support you.

The term mental load describes the invisible labor many moms carry: remembering birthdays, scheduling doctor’s appointments, tracking emotions, packing lunches, and staying attuned to everyone’s needs but your own.

The mental load of motherhood is heavy and constant. It’s more than just a to-do list, it’s an emotional burden and because it often goes unseen, it can feel especially isolating.

Acknowledging the mental load is not about blaming others, it’s about giving yourself permission to name your experience and recognize the cost.

When to Seek Professional Help for Burnout

Many moms I work with wait until things feel unmanageable before they reach out. It’s often when they’re running on empty, exhausted, resentful or questioning if they are doing anything right. But therapy doesn’t have to be a last resort. Think of it as a preventative check in, a space for pause, reflection and a place where you can reconnect with yourself. 

If you’re feeling:

• Emotionally numb or disconnected from your kids
• Resentful over your partner
• Snapping at your child over small things
• Unable to be present with yourself, your child, your partner, or your family
• Constant irritability and feelings of guilt especially after losing patience
• Trouble sleeping even when you’re exhausted
• Losing interest in the things that you used to enjoy
• Questioning your identity beyond being a mom

When the hard days are outnumbered by the good days and you feel like you are in survival mode most days than not or you simply want a space to talk without judgement, that’s reason enough to talk to a therapist. 

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Therapy for moms isn’t about “fixing” you. It’s about supporting you through the challenges of emotional exhaustion in motherhood and giving you tools to feel more grounded, present and  like yourself again. You don't have to wait for a breaking point. You are allowed to ask for help because this is hard and because you matter too. 

How to Deal with Mom Burnout 

If you're in the thick of mom burnout, it’s easy to feel like you need a dramatic reset. However, I’ve found in my practice with moms that healing often starts with small shifts. These steps are grounded in what I share with clients who are navigating mom fatigue, emotional exhaustion in motherhood, and the relentless mental load that moms carry.

1. Boundaries. Boundaries. Boundaries.

Many moms are conditioned to say yes: yes to more playdates, more responsibilities, more volunteering, more emotional caretaking. But without boundaries, burnout is inevitable. 

Start by identifying just one area where you feel consistently depleted. Maybe it’s answering late-night emails from school, saying yes to every birthday party, or always being the default parent.

It’s okay to say no, even to things you used to manage with ease! That doesn't make you lazy or ungrateful. Reframing boundaries as an act of love (for yourself and your family) can help. If there’s one message to continuously repeat to yourself it's that every "no" is a "yes" to your well-being, mental clarity, and emotional presence.

2. Don’t overthink your self-care, but make time for it.

Self-care doesn’t have to be all-or-nothing, and it definitely doesn’t have to look like the cliche bubble baths and spa days. The most impactful self-care is the quiet, simple, and unglamorous moments.

It might mean locking the bathroom door and taking five deep breaths. It could be listening to a podcast alone in the car before walking into the house. It might even mean ordering takeout and skipping the dishes. It doesn’t matter what it looks like, it matters that it exists at all in your day. 

When you care for yourself, you’re teaching your children how to care for themselves too. They learn by watching you. Not just how you treat them, but how you treat yourself. Modeling rest, boundaries, and emotional honesty gives them permission to do the same as they grow. That’s generational change.

3. Build your village, even if it’s small.

This one can be the hardest. Many mothers carry a silent belief that asking for help means they’ve somehow failed. But here's the truth: asking for help is not a weakness, it’s a survival skill.

Delegate where you can, even if it means things aren’t done “your way.” Talk to your partner about sharing the mental load, or lean on a friend for emotional check-ins. You’re not meant to do this alone, and you don’t have to wait until you’re falling apart to receive support. If the conversations feel hard, couples therapy can be a valuable space to find new ways forward. Little Otter has couple therapists who are experts in navigating parental burnout. 

4. Perfection is the enemy of peace.

So many moms are measuring themselves against unrealistic standards, many of which are shaped by social media. What if your child’s lunch isn’t Instagram-worthy? What if you skipped the bedtime story one night? What if the house is a mess?

None of that means you’re a bad mom. Your child doesn’t need perfection, they need connection. Prioritize presence over performance. Give yourself permission to do things “well enough,” and remind yourself that good enough is truly good enough.

5. Say the hard things out loud. 

Stop pushing through. Part of healing from parenting burnout is learning to pause and name what you're feeling, without judgment. Are you angry? Resentful? Lonely? Disconnected? Naming the emotion helps you regain agency and makes space for processing, rather than suppressing.

Talk to someone who can hold that space with you. Therapy in particular can be a space where you're allowed to be fully you, not just a mom, but a human with needs, frustrations, and desires. You don’t need to fix your feelings, you just need a place where they can exist safely.

Even if you’re a single parent or strapped for time, finding tiny moments of relief can add up. 

If you’re an overwhelmed mom reading this and thinking, “That’s me,” I want you to know this: you are not failing. You are carrying more than anyone can see. You are tired because you’ve been trying so hard for so long. You are allowed to ask for help. You are allowed to take up space and care for yourself, too. Burnout is real, but it’s not forever. With the right support and care, you can feel like yourself again.

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