8 Tips for How To Respond When Your Child Misbehaves at Home

Last week, we talked about why children may be superstars at school, but horrible at home. So, if you find yourself in that situation, here are 8 best practice tips to respond when your child misbehaves at home.

If your child misbehaves at home, here are 8 tips for what to do.

1. Don’t take it personally!

This behavior isn’t intentional, and they aren’t “acting out” on purpose. They’re just having a hard time coping. If you see it as intentional, you’re more likely to be in a negative state of mind when responding or reacting to your child’s behavior.

2. Be your kid’s rock.

When they’re in difficult moments, it helps your child to acknowledge that they’re having a hard time. By staying calm, you show your children you can tolerate their distress.

3. Don’t get drawn into a power struggle.

You can empower your child to make choices, and offer to help in a different way. Power struggles only increase stress.

4. Show empathy for how hard your child is working at school.

It takes a lot of energy to follow the rule - so acknowledge that! Show that you understand they may be tired when they get home.

5. Avoid making negative comparisons between home and school behavior.

These types of comparisons can result in shame. Build on the positive at school, and use that to encourage more positive behavior at school. Shaming increases negativity and leads to less, not more, cooperation.

6. Build in time for connection after school.

Spending quality time together to connect - even just a few moments - after school can make things less stressful and more cooperative. Making it a ritual is even better. For example, you might plan to read a chapter of a book together.

7. Create a cozy, chill-out space.

Your child may need time and space to relax before they can reconnect. You might have a kiddie tent full of cozy pillows, or even just a nice chair with a calming toy. Let your little one show you when they’re ready to connect.

8. Maintain the important limits.

It’s tempting to let go of limits because you’re tired. But boundaries are especially important for little ones when they’re spiraling out of control. Letting go of important limits ultimately leads to more power struggles and therefore more stress for all.

Think: “I know it’s hard to say goodnight and you don’t like that there is a limit on books at bedtime. But our rule is three stories and then lights out. I can’t wait to see you in the morning.” The alternative—getting into a protracted battle at bedtime—is what is harmful to kids (and parents.) You can love your child while also setting limits. These are not mutually exclusive. It is not love or limits. Limits are loving.

Looking for more support? Little Otter is here with exceptional mental health care for your whole family.

Register for Little Otter here.

You’ll start with an assessment, and then connect with a licensed and trained child mental health and parenting specialist. You’ll also gain the tools and support to manage these challenging moments.

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