This post is part of a series where our team of child mental health professionals answer real questions submitted by readers like you. This post deals with topics related to parental separation. Please take care when reading.

We recently received a question from a mom worried about how her daughter might be impacted by traveling between mom’s and dad’s house. Below is the question, and a response from our child mental health experts:

“Should I be worried about my child going back and forth between visiting her father's house and returning home? She has a lot of fun at her father’s house where there’s less structure. Also, at our home she has to do her virtual schooling.”

- Anonymous

Thank you for your question. It can be difficult for everyone in the family to adjust when a child is going back and forth between two households. Rules, expectations, and routines can all be variable. 

It is important that there is as much communication as is comfortable between you and your daughter’s father, in an effort to establish more consistency between the two homes. 

When a child has predictability and stability across environments, it helps to decrease any worries or fears she may feel related to uncertainty or chaos. 

Structure and routine are always important considerations, but they are particularly essential now with the pandemic and the adjustments related to remote learning. 

You didn’t mention any changes in your daughter’s behavior or mood, which is good. If there are no current concerns, the best thing may be to focus on communication and consistency. It is good that you are paying attention to these differences and trying to create more cohesion for your daughter.

If you have any more questions, please don’t hesitate to contact us at Little Otter.

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